In our journey through the labyrinth of emotions, language serves as our compass and map. However, just as isolated tribes define their world with limited colors and few words, we often find our emotions confined in a poor and restrictive vocabulary. This lack of emotional expressiveness can undermine our interpersonal connections and limit our self-understanding. In this article, we explore the concept of "Emotional Literacy" – the ability to understand and express our emotions accurately and consciously. We will investigate the impact of our emotional vocabulary on our mental health and relationships, as well as ways in which we can enhance this essential skill for a fulfilled and authentic life.
The Himba indigenous tribe has only four words that designate colors. For example, "zuzu" denotes shades of dark blue, red, green, and purple.
Chinese, in turn, has a character that refers to both green and blue, while the Turkish language has two words only for "white."
The human eye sees hundreds of color nuances, but standard language names only a few of them. For most, we borrow names from objects that remind us of those shades: "absinthe green," "metallic blue," "mustard yellow."
When it comes to our emotions, however, our vocabulary is even poorer.
The language we speak forms our first grid for interpreting the worlds outside and within us – our vocabulary is our first and perhaps most important ally in expressing and then distilling our emotions.
But language, by its nature, is meant to simplify – normally, it translates a whole palette of inner experiences into a few words, often without considering nuances. (It's true that the task we've burdened it with is colossal, and often it deals with it admirably – there's nothing to interpret in a cry for help, an interjection expressing pain, or the word "mother.")
However, when we talk about emotions, language can deceive us. Some of the labels we borrow for our feelings through words can express something different from what we actually feel. Language names fear of a ravenous wolf in the same way as fear of failure, the joy of reading a good book in the same way as holding your child in your arms. When we forget to turn off the light in the bathroom all day, unjustifiably, we say we've shown "stupidity," and when we have difficulty catching onto jokes, we express ourselves in the same way.
A broader lexical field for each emotion, for our interpretations, and for the labels we apply provides us with fluidity – language no longer becomes just an anchor in our relationship with the world, but also a sail for our ship. And when we talk about our inner monologue, language is all the more important – the words we use guide our minds in their direction.
When we say something is "terrible," our mind believes it. If we tell ourselves we are "weak," the mind listens. It reacts. But replace "terrible" with "unpleasant," and the emotional register shifts. Substitute "weakness" with terms like "sensitivity" or "reactivity," and thoughts, like rivers flowing, will follow the course of these new channels we've carved.
Therapy provides us, over time, with a new vocabulary for our emotions. It frees us from the tight garments of some of these emotions and teaches us to think beyond what we can express, from white, gray, and black to "ivory white," "vanilla white," "anthracite gray," "petrol gray," and countless others for which we have yet to find names.
Exploring our emotions and expanding our emotional vocabulary is like embarking on a journey into an unfamiliar country. The more words we learn to describe our inner experiences, the more aware we become of their richness and complexity. Similar to the Himba tribe, who distinguish between various shades of blue and green, or the Chinese, who have separate words for green and blue, we can develop our ability to discern and express emotional subtleties.
Thus, building a rich emotional vocabulary not only helps us better understand ourselves but also enables us to communicate more effectively with others. By recognizing and articulating our emotions in a precise and conscious manner, we can enhance the quality of our relationships and our overall mental and emotional well-being. Therefore, let us continue to explore and enrich our emotional language, journeying towards greater understanding and awareness of our inner world.
